Bombs Away in the Ghetto

I may live in a town where nothing much ever happens, but y'all I just heard there is a suspicious package located inside the Save-A-Lot store. I know....a Save-A-Lot? I didn't realize we had a Save-A-Lot either. I only thought this store existed in the commercials where you could get a piece of meat for less because they didn't garnish it with that plastic green grass stuff. The reporter said that a bomb squad is being called in.....WHAT???.....it's probably just powdered sugar.
You know, the worst part about all of this is that I just realized my hair salon is located in the same shopping center. Never mind the magnitude of this news and what it could destroy......Did you hear me????? My HAIR SALON is located in that shopping center. I've got a lot of big events getting ready to unfold in my life, and they CANNOT unfold without my hair looking good. I mean I don't want to look back at pictures YEARS from now and think to myself..."Why does my hair look so bad??" Only to remember that "Oh yeah a bomb went off in the Save-A-Lot, destroying my hair salon, therefore destroying any opportunity of good hair, therefore resulting in a horrible root-laden catastrophe."

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, there's a bomb, and I do hope that it isn't real. That it's just some horrible trick someone is playing. Because a bomb is never a good thing, especially if it's threatening your hair salon!
Y'all have a Wonderful Wednesday!